A good piece of advice from my own divorce

A good piece of advice from my own divorce

My name is Louise and I am the mother for 2 lovely boys. Their father and I got divorced when the boys were 6 and 3 years old, respectively.  As with so many other things, one is always wiser in the clear light of morning, and there are definitely things that I wish I had done differently.

One thing I look back on, and wish I would have done better, was we didn’t give the boys a clear message. I think we underestimated their age and what they are capable of understanding and accepting. We also didn’t inform their daycares, afterschool programs, or kindergarteners, until some time had passed.

The neglect of one of the items listed above had a direct consequence. Our 6-year-old boy left from his afterschool program alone one afternoon. A 6-year-old running across a busy, trafficked road, without any adult supervision, is never good. The after-school program’s adults let him slip through the cracks, and did not know that there was a lot going on at home. 

However, he reached home safely, and it turned out, he ran home to make sure his dad was still there. He needed to check, simply because he didn’t know when the process of mom and dad moving from each other was going to start. It certainly could have helped the little guy if he had something concrete to relate to. 

Fortunately, you learn, and both dad and I have become fairly well-known divorced parents, where there is a great common focus on the boys, and where we gather together – in collaboration with their bonus mother, who has also joined us in taking care of our boys. But that’s a story for another time 🙂

Take care 🙂
Louise

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